Being Happy With Depression.

We all know that there are plenty of misconceptions surrounding mental illness. As time goes on, more and more people are talking about their mental health and how we can correct those misconceptions we all too often hear.

Disclosing my mental health was never at the forefront of my plans when it came to my blog posts. Not because I don’t want to talk about it. I do and I think it’s important to.

But this is not a pity party. I’m perfectly comfortable and happy with my mental health. It’s not perfect. But that’s OK. Today, I wanted to talk about how, with the help of time and patience, I have become happier in myself and how my depression is now easier to live with.

I’m not going to get too personal, this isn’t about me. This is about other people who may be struggling and want to know that happiness isn’t impossible to achieve.

We all know now that depression is caused by a chemical imbalance. We know it’s not a trait, or a choice. It is simply just a chemical reaction. It’s the way my DNA is structured. If you want to read more about clinical depression click here.

So how can I be depressed and happy? For a long time I would only feel down. Happiness came few and far between and any happiness I did feel felt fake. Now, I feel both happy and down and whilst not at the same time, I am living happy, with depression.

“Am I really happy?” Is a question I often ask myself. On a good day this is easy. There is a lot of good in my life and I choose to be happy about it.

On a not so good day, this becomes a little trickier. In the midst of feeling depressed, it’s easy to forget about all of your other emotions. It takes time and patience to understand your depression.

There have been a lot of steps over the last two years which have led me to a point of acceptance. My entire outlook on life has changed. About a year ago my dad introduced me to meditation. I find that there is a fine line between my happiness and my depression. Things can change very quickly and for no reason at all. With meditation I can find a sense of calm and begin to accept how I’m feeling. Rather than trying to fight it all the time.

It took a long time for me to be able to laugh at something honestly. To smile at something fully. To be able to accept all of my emotions and feel them as they are. Depression can often make you feel guilty if you feel happy in any way. This is something that takes a lot of time and convincing to undo. But it is possible.

Making and taking time for yourself will feel uncomfortable at first. Sitting and telling yourself that you have a lot to offer and that you deserve happiness just as much as the next person will seem ridiculous. And as awful as this is; the depression probably isn’t going to go away. At least for me, I’m still facing it every single day. But this doesn’t mean you have to hate it. It helps make us who we are. I’m only who I am right now because of all the things my depression has taught me. But it doesn’t define me.

Accepting your emotions as they come and go is the easiest way to balance them. Accepting that you feel happy and allowing yourself to feel it is important. Do not be in denial about your happiness. It is there and it should be felt. Accepting your depression, your down days and all the awful things that come with it are important too. If you’re in denial about your sadness, you will always be ignoring it. Pushing it back and it will always fight its way forward and it gets uglier every time it appears. Once you accept that those feelings are there and that they need to be felt, it becomes so much easier to understand them. Then it becomes easier to overcome them. You begin to know what to expect and how to deal with it.

It can be difficult to accept. I’m not trying to make it sound easy. Sadness is not a nice way to feel. It’s painful. I’ve spent more of my time crying in the last two years that I have my entire life. Finding happiness with depression and having them run alongside each other is hard and sometimes terrifying.

A lot of people now assume that my depression is gone because I’m a lot better at dealing with how I feel. I can sit and enjoy spending time with those I love and not let my depression interfere. But it is still there. I still have bad days, weeks and sometimes months. I do have a brighter outlook on life now and I do handle my depression much better than I once did. But I can’t change my DNA. I can’t change the way my brain and body works. This is just how it is.

I’ll always be changing and growing. I’ll always be finding new ways to live a little easier. The point is, everyone deserve happiness and I just want to tell you that you can be happy too.

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Thank you for reading if you have made it this far. If you have any questions then please leave them down below. Of course, this entire blog post is relative to me. Take what you want from it and make it relative to you.

“For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.”wpid-img_20150809_193713a

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My Ring Collection.

I’ve been collecting rings for about a year now and the collection just continues to grow. Rings are my favourite accessory and way to add to an outfit. My favourite places to buy myself rings from are Shop Dixi and Bohomoon. These are the majority of rings that I have and wear daily. I thought I would talk a little bit about some of them because I love them all. I did do two posts which have some of these rings featured about a year ago now and you can find them here and here. I bought all of these rings for myself.

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This infinity ring is actually my most recent ring purchase. I bought this from Bohomoon along with another one to give to my sister. They both say “Best Friends” on the inside. I saw these and knew I had to get me and Tiegan one because we’re besties.

The moonstone ring was from Shop Dixi but I’ve had this one for a year so I don’t think it is now on their site. It has lasted really well and it was already copper when I bought it. It fits really nicely and is great for minimal jewellery days. Shop Dixi is great for good quality rings that don’t fade of rub off green on your fingers. They are a little bit more pricey but they’re so beautiful so definitely worth paying that little bit extra.
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The rest of these rings are from Bohomoon and this is because they are slightly cheaper. Some of these rings do leave that gross green mark if you wear them for too long. I love both of these rings. The green stone ring is very pretty and always adds a nice pop of colour whenever I am wearing a simple monochrome outfit. It’s quite simple still so can be worn with other rings.

The black ring is on I like to wear with my Om Mantra ring in the next photo. It has a really pretty design on the band and it’s quite gothic so it looks great with simple rings or “pretty” rings.

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I spoke about both of these rings in my last post. The Om Mantra ring is my most worn and probably my favourite ring. The colour has started to fade and is now turning a weird rusty colour. I still love it, I like the effect but because I do wear it so much, the silver is rubbing off.

I still love my Amulet ring. I don’t wear this as much as I would like to because it’s hard to pair with other rings and looks odd on its own. Sometimes I’ll wear these two together. The Amulet ring hasn’t faded and the green stone is still just as pretty. When it comes to Bohomoon rings you have to hedge your bets on whether or not the ring will fade. But they’re good for the price you pay and considering I’ve had these for a year and I’ve worn them a lot, they’re still doing pretty good.

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I bought this little crescent moon and star ring in a Bohomoon sale. I thought the design was cute and it was really inexpensive ( Around £2, now £1.50!). I really like this ring because its simple and can be worn with any of my other rings.

I also bought the cross hatch ring at the same time. Again, it’s really simple and I love wearing it with any of the other rings. Both of these rings are adjustable so they do pinch the skin a little bit at the opening if it’s not sitting right.

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Lastly are these very pretty rings. The first ring, from L-R, is definitely my least worn out of all of these rings. It’s a size too big for me and only fits on my thumb. This can be solved by wearing a smaller ring in front because it stops it from slipping off. I don’t have any simple band rings that fit in front of this ring though so I can’t really wear it unless my fingers get fatter! I really love the design though and I still wanted to include it because it’s one of my bigger rings and I will wear it when I find a suitable solution.

The wishbone ring I spoke about in my Bohomoon post. I wear this one all the time and it’s my most worn in appearance. The silver has almost completely come off and it’s just about holding on. I think I will still wear this as a copper ring once the silver has come off and I can wear it with my moonstone ring.

Finally is this really pretty baby pink stone ring. This looks really pretty with the wishbone ring about it. I love this ring but it does get caught on everything because its so big. I have a necklace which actually matches this ring and I like wearing them together.

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All of the links provided are ones which I could find and ones which are very similar. Some of my rings are up to a year old now so aren’t available anymore. In order:

Best Friends Infinity Ring.

Sterling Silver Moonstone Ring.

Alima Turquoise Ring.

Effie Ring.

Om Amulet Ring.

Harmony Amulet Ring.

Crescent Ring.

Prizm Stacking Ring.

Shop Dixi Wishbone Midi Ring. – currently out of stock, will be getting more in.

If you just want to browse their websites:

Bohomoon

Shop Dixi

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If you would like to see more of my photographs then please follow me on Instagram and keep up with me on Twitter!

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Writing For Myself.

Back when I started blogging a few years ago, I started writing my blog out of boredom. I love writing and I have always loved reading blogs so I just wanted to give it a go. My blogging was inconsistent and didn’t really have a theme. I’ve been blogging for six months now, fairly consistently despite my recent 2 month absence. I have still been writing up posts just not posting them.

The reason being related to a post I wrote last week about being more honest  and I briefly said that the lack of honesty is why I hadn’t posted in a while. When I started this blog back up this year I knew that I wanted to talk about the things I love. And I have, but it still doesn’t feel true to who I am. To be completely honest with you, I got sucked into checking my stats all the time to see if people were actually reading. Over the last two months I have been thinking a lot about what I want to post and who I actually want to read it (not that I don’t appreciate those who have read my blog thus far, believe me, I do).

I would like to be able to write posts on subjects which I am passionate about, and I am passionate about a lot of different things and I have a lot of opinions. I would like to be able to write about them confidently and share with my readers what I think. I’ve always been afraid of writing posts like these because I don’t want people to think that I think I am always right or that I think my views are the only views that matter. I want to feel free to write about the things I love, the things which have helped me and made me who I am. The things that I believe could be helpful in someway to someone else. I don’t want to write posts which people are only reading to fill their time. I want to write posts which have something you can take away with you and use in your life. Or at least think about.

So from here on out, my posts will be a little different. If you don’t enjoy them then feel free to unfollow. I will still be talking about beauty products occasionally because I love to! But I will also be talking about things that I think are important. I know not everyone will agree with me. That’s perfectly OK. In fact that’s great! I want to learn what YOU think and what YOU know.

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Real Neat Blog Award

real-neat-blog-awardI love these awards, they’re so much fun to do. Go over to mrsdimplesbeauty and check out her blog! Thank you for nominating me ages ago, I’m finally getting round to doing it. Here are the rules:

RULES

– Post the Real Neat Blogger Award Icon

– Thank the fabulous blogger who nominated you

– Answer the 7 questions said fabulous blogger asked

– Nominate any number of other bloggers for the award

– Pose 7 questions for your nominees to answer should they choose to accept the award

The Questions

1) Which do you spend most time on Skincare or Make up?

I have a pretty simple skincare routine so I take more time on my make-up. But if you have healthy skin it makes it much easier when applying make-up.

2) What’s the most expensive product you have bought?

Probably my Urban Decay Naked 3 Palette!

3) Summer or Winter?

I’m a Winter baby! But I do love the Summer months. Living in the UK you get a nice variety of weather. I wouldn’t mind if the Summer was just a tad warmer though.

4) If you was stranded on a desert island which celebrity would you want with you?

I think I’d want Christian Bale with me.

5) Favourite Drink?

I really just like Water! But probably Dr Pepper, to be less boring!

6) Are you a writing blogger, you tuber or both?

At the moment I’m just blogging! I have tried YouTube and I really love the whole idea but I’m just not brave enough to put my whole heart into it!

7) Heels or flats?

Flats are just more comfortable, although I wish I could rock heels all day every day!

My Nominations

Insight2Tiegan

Vitaella

emmabeautyhauls

itsmisstazmin

prettypinkpossum

allkindsoflovelies

maddyamelia

My Questions To You

1) What is your favourite way to pamper yourself?

2) If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?

3) What is your favourite thing about blogging?

4) What was the last song you listened to?

5) If you had to choose between having only skincare products, or only makeup products which would you choose? and why?

6) What are your go-to solutions when having a bad hair day?

7) If you could teleport to anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?


Another big thank you to mrsdimplesbeauty for nominating me! I enjoyed answering your questions!  I hope you enjoyed reading them and I look forward to reading the answers of those I have nominated!

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EcoTools 6 Piece Eye Set vs Real Techniques Starter Set

In my last haul I mentioned that I had bought two eye brush sets. One for my little sisters birthday and one for me. Everybody knows about the Real Techniques brushes but I wanted to do a comparison between the Starter Set 1406 and the ecoTOOLs 6 Piece Eye Brush set.

On Amazon, which is where I bought both the sets from, the prices didn’t differ much at all. They were both priced at around £12 (Bargain!). In Boots there is around a £6 difference with the ecoTOOLS priced at £14.99 and Real Techniques at £21.99*.

 I thought I’d talk you through what I did and how each brush worked and which worked better. In general though both sets are pretty good, especially as starter sets. They’re both relatively inexpensive and not too difficult to get your hands on so if you’re not sure where to begin either set would be ideal. If you’d like to know more in more detail then you can read along.

I’ve sorted the brushes into pairs. By whether they are similar in size, shape and use but NOT by their names. Just remember this when reading, I’ve included the names so you can see which brush I used.DSC_0022a

Real Techniques Deluxe Crease Brush and the ecoTOOLS Large Eye Brush.

Both brushes work well and do the exact same job. The ecoTOOLS brush is slightly more dense so it’s much easier to pack a good amount of colour onto the eyelid. They both create a little fallout so you have to be a little careful. I found that the Real Techniques brush isn’t true to its name as it doesn’t fit in my crease at all! It is much better for applying a base shadow all over the lid.DSC_0021a

Real Techniques Shading Brush and the ecoTOOLS Angled Crease Brush.

I find that the Real Techniques brush is easier to use because it has a longer handle, but the ecoTOOLS brush is slightly bigger so it blends out quicker. These brushes actually work really well together by applying the chosen eyeshadow into the crease with the Shading Brush and blending out with the Angled Crease brush.

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Real Techniques Base Shadow Brush and the ecoTOOLS Highlighting Brush.

The Real Techniques brush creates quite a lot of fallout whilst the ecoTOOLS brush has little to no fallout. I’m not sure why? I use the brushes in the same way and I always tap excess shadow off before applying. This makes both of them quite frustrating to use and you must have some patience. I like to use these for highlighting my brow bone and inner corner.

DSC_0017aReal Techniques Accent Brush and the ecoTOOLS Smudge Brush.

This type of brush I don’t really get a lot of use out of. These are great for smudging out eyeliner if you’re going for a smokey eye and/or applying shadow under the eye. They are slightly different shapes but both work equally well.

DSC_0016aReal Techniques Fine Liner Brush/Silicone Liner Brush and the ecoTOOLS Petite Eye Shading Brush.

The Real Techniques liner brushes work much better with gel eyeliner as this is what they are for. The ecoTOOLS brush works better using a black shadow and creating a smokey liner. I paired these up because the ecoTOOLS set doesn’t come with a liner brush like the Real Techniques but you can still create a look with eye liner using both.

In my opinion I think that you would get more use out of all the brushes in the Real Techniques kit. Two of the ecoTOOLS brushes I don’t get a lot of use out of since they are so tiny, I don’t need them for everyday make-up looks. For the price though you can’t go wrong and it’s a great little set for travelling. I love both the sets and Tiegan uses the Real Technique set every day. I had fun comparing them both. Thank you Tiegan for letting me borrow your set for this comparison!

I hope you enjoyed reading this post and that it was somehow helpful if you’ve seen either of these sets and thought about getting them!

*prices could have changed since writing this post.

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Lets be honest…

How many people on social media do you follow that seem to be living the most incredible lives? You can probably name quite a few.

So let’s all just be honest with each other for a minute, how much of what we see is real? How much of what we see is genuine? And how much of what we put out on the internet is a genuine representation of our lives? When we put up posts on the internet we only show people what we want them to see.

I’m not against a perfectly posed photograph, or posting one that you feel really good about. I just wish we could all be a little more honest online. I wish we all felt more comfortable posting honest photographs, of how our lives truly are. And that we weren’t so afraid of critical judgement from others for not living the perfect lives that society tells us we should be.

Posting all these perfect photographs is great and I love to look at them, but it encourages us to be unhappy with our lives because someone always seems to have it better.

If we posted how things really are, across all social media, we would encourage others to post how their lives really are. We’d all come together and be understanding of the fact that we all are figuring out life. We’d all be happier with the lives we’re actually leading, instead of always wanting for the life someone else appears to have.

The same goes for the online blogging world too. It’s been around 2 months since I last posted because I felt that nothing I had to write about was good enough. What I’m really wondering is; can we stop stop pretending we have it all figured out and stop comparing our lives to those we see online?

Here are a few of my favourite photographs from the last couple of months, they aren’t perfect, but they make me happy.

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